***Like car accidents, most hardware problems are due to driver error.

**If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0

***Unix is user-friendly. It’s just very selective about who its friends are.

***A Windows user spends 1/3 of his life sleeping, 1/3 working, 1/3 waiting.

***Evolution is God’s way of issuing upgrades.

***The only problem with troubleshooting is that sometimes trouble shoots back.

***If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime.

***Artificial Intelligence usually beats natural stupidity.

***UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.

***Q: What is the difference between Windows 95 and Windows 98?
A: 3 years

***Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don’t let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months.

***It’s hardware that makes a machine fast. It’s software that makes a fast machine slow.

***Software Independent: Won’t work with ANY software.

***Programmers are tools for converting caffeine into code.

***A logician trying to explain logic to a programmer is like a cat trying to explain to a fish what it’s like to get wet.

***Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that comes on the market about two days after you actually purchase some other omputer.

***Helpdesk: There is an icon on your computer labeled “My Computer”. Double click on it.
User: What’s your computer doing on mine?

***If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.